Be thankful to Allah

One evening, about a year ago, my friend Hameed sat on his patio, enjoying the pleasant weather and the cool breeze. And he thanked Allah for this blessing.

But over the next couple of days, the weather became hot. It got so hot that he could fry an omelet on his head. The grass on his front yard withered away. He was suffering and called upon Allah for some relief.

Allah, hearing Hameed's prayer, ordered the weather to change. Over the next few days, the weather started to get cooler and soon Hameed saw that it had become pleasant. However, the weather continued to get cooler and eventually the pond in his garden froze. It was so cold that he was pissing ice cubes. This hurt. He again prayed to Allah for relief.

Allah heard Hameed's prayer and was pleased that Hameed chose to pray to Allah instead of relying on some man-made apparatus for managing his home temperature. Allah ordered the weather to become warmer. And so, Hameed saw that the weather had started to become warmer and soon became a pleasant climate. But the weather continued to get hotter and hotter. It became so hot that whenever Hameed masturbated, his cum would vaporize into steam.

Hameed was in so much pain. He prayed to Allah again. Allah got so pissed with this puny human being who keeps bothering Allah with petty weather matters, that Allah took Hameed soul and threw it into Hell.

So my brothers and sisters. Suck on Allah's long cock that extends down to us from Heaven. Be thankful to Allah and for God's sake, stop complaining so much. For Allah is oft-forgiving but usually short tempered.